Best Thing I Never Had


When the day is full of accomplishments, appreciations and success, People who are critics of all time show their kind face filled with jealousy on our achievements. Faces are covered with smile and hearts are covered with happiness and satisfaction throughout the day. Hands are shaken a thousand times and clapped a million times in respect. Mistakes are forgiven and guilt is being overridden. Expectations are fulfilled and choices are made. What more can we expect from the day.

But not everything is as clear as it seems. Some small things of joy are being missed in attempt to achieve larger goods. A cup of coffee is still left there alone, uncalled on the desk. We forgot  to take even first sip. Notifications of missed calls are there in phone, that we couldn’t receive. Some precious old friends are still left to share the story of the day; celebration is obviously imperfect without their presence. Mostly our destination in evening is our room which is still going to provide us company of no one. Some moments from past still do float in the paradigm of our mind. Heart keeps swinging in the midst of mixed feelings. Day may be complete but our experiences of happiness from past make it imperfect.

At the end of the day we are about to left it all to go back in the days when we were not being congratulated by fake people but by ourselves. But then we realize that we have given enough of our love, time and life to be at the place where we do exist right now. Thinking about the times when our mindset was that everything will be okay and all worries will be over. Surely but not completely satisfactory, everything is not okay but has been changed. All worries are not over but have been pile up even more. We may take an auto to our apartment and can call our lovable to share the view we see from the top of the mountain of success. But we know we will not be able to explain and they will not be able to understand it either. Because things are not exactly what it appears to be.

Than we choose to walk on foot and not look on the phone for a while, come straight to home which is in fact not our real home. Working and earning in the city away from home just to stay close to our family and friends, spending money on the things that are no way going to help us in giving real feel of happiness. Even after a day full of cheering from colleagues, we look at the reservation in a train that takes us to our home. We give credits of our success to our family and everyone who were there by our side in tough times by posting two lines in social media. We get same responses from all, sometimes the words may differ but that doesn’t matter.

We choose to go to sleep in spite of celebrating our physical success with fake people around. There are very few who really our admirers are, but they will understand. We lay on bed looking at nothingness on the roof, having emptiness in the heart and no food in stomach. Just like wrapper of food from last week which is rotting in the room no one is there to pick that up and dump into a right place, Sunken Heart is also getting hollow and meaningless no one is there to touch it up with the soft hands of love and take it to the right place.Tiredness take over our body and eyes slowly turn to close. We may have fallen in the dreams but the night is less sleepy because some part of our mind does never sleep.

 

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